The New Normal

What is normal?

The dictionary defines it as this: conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.

A few months ago, our "normal" life changed. You know how when you repeat your marriage vows, you say "through better or for worse", but you never really think about the "worse" part? It's real, people.

Almost everything changed for us. I am pretty much an open book, so it's not uncomfortable for me to say that B & I were in a not great place in our marriage. It came to a head and we decided to seek counseling (which we are still currently doing). Here's what changed:

1. I resigned from my position of worship leader at SMCC. At that point, I knew I was not in a place to be leading anyone.

2. We took a break from attending our home church. It's a little easier on me to breathe right now.

3. We began attending counseling, which has been a lifesaver. Seriously.

4. I cut my social life back to almost nothing.

If you know me, you know #socialwifesociallife (for those of you who aren't into hashtags: social wife, social life). It has been hard for me to take a step back, major steps back, and just breathe; focus on my family and marriage.

But, oh...it has been worth it so far. We're not out of the woods yet, but we are in a much better place than we've been for a while now!

I realized that through our worst, we had to literally tell each other, all day, every day, "I choose you". It has become a phrase in our home that means the same as I love you; maybe it even means more.

I painted the canvas for our bedroom (thank you, Pinterest) to remind ourselves that we need to keep choosing each other. We need to keep fighting for each other. We need to have no doubt, no wasted breath. Over and over and overandoverandover.

Folks...it isn't easy. We still have bad moments, but I feel that the worst is behind us. If there is anyone out there who is struggling, know this: ANYTHING is possible with God in the picture. He doesn't make it easy for us, but He is with us. He is the God of the hills and valleys.

Keep choosing each other. And don't be afraid to seek help. It doesn't mean your marriage is doomed. Men, it doesn't make you weak. And women, it doesn't mean that we are right. Fight for each other. Choose each other. All day. Every day.