Thursday, February 15, 2018

Happy Heart Day

You know, we are just not huge Valentine's people. I think B & I have only gone out once to actually celebrate it. Around here, we might do cards, occasionally flowers, always a little something for the girls; it's just not a big deal for us.

BUT...the girls love it and we still try to get in the spirit. Today is even better because we had Kid's Night at church and had an awesome party with all of our friends. I think that made it one of the best for me.

B & I exchanged cards...that we had picked out together. Of course, I had to add some things to mine because it just made sense. Did I get a picture of us? NOPE.

The girls got these super cute little Lego sets and some chocolate. Grammie always sends something for the girls. Did I get a picture of it? NOPE.

Speaking of Grammie, I made Josephines like my mom used to for us and my grandma used to for my mom. I love tradition!

B & I picked out some flowers for me. Odd fact: I dislike roses. I really do. Sure, they smell nice and they are pretty...but I LOVE potted flowers or cut Star Gazer Lilies (they're my favorite). I love these little white flowers!

We tried to wear something Valentine's Day-ish. I rocked my heart shirt. It helped that my hair matches. Did I get a picture of me or the girls? NOPE.

And the party! So much fun!!!

Piper's little "friend", Jevin, brought her a book and some origami bookmarks he made himself. Oh my....I wish I would have taken a picture of her face! Did I take one? NOPE AGAIN. (Notice a theme here...I kind of sucked yesterday at taking pictures.)

So, overall, a good day. Happy Heart Day, y'all.

Friday, February 09, 2018

Reviewing January- Highs & Lows

I always view January as THE FRESH START. It's a new year, a new month, a fresh start. I'm not a believer in resolutions. I feel that you can make any change that you want to RIGHT NOW. It's all a matter of perspective.

This January was a little on the rough side, but overall, it came with some good stuff too.

#1: It was our first month without counseling. We had some big arguments and little bad moments. But we are learning to communicate better and we were able to work through them. The bad days that lasted longer than two days were the hardest, but again, we were able to recognize what was causing the downward spiral- HIGH & LOW.

#2: We had some major revisiting from the past and it was hard on both of us. We're both trying to let go of things, some better than others- LOW.

#3: We celebrated Sam's 9th birthday. I swear, she has to stop growing. I can't deal with this. She was surrounded by friends at the pool and really enjoyed herself. That's all that matters- HIGH.

#4: Me & the girls were able to go out to AZ and visit my family, which I was so pumped for. I really missed seeing them, especially with all the crap going on. It was a good trip, tinged with me & B missing each other. That was a first for us; usually, he does his thing, I do mine. But since we've spend so much time together in the last 6 months, it was a little harder- HIGH & LOW.

#5: I started serving at Kid's Night again at our church. I took a break last semester to work on us and it was good to be back with the kids. It's Piper's last year in there, so I'm grateful I am able to be a part of that group. It's fun working with my friends again too- HIGH.

#6: I started attending Moms Next/MOPs again, also. This was harder because all I could think was: "The last time I was here, I was the worship leader." So the first night was awful, the second night much better- HIGH & LOW.

#7: I did my blog series on Switchfoot's Beautiful Letdown (start here) and it was sooooooo hard and sooooooo good. I was raw. I was real with myself. It changed a lot of things for me. It also helped some peeps come out and talk to me about what they're going through- HIGH & LOW.

#8: B & I have been going on weekly dates and I absolutely love them. Some are short, like a quick breakfast or coffee, some are longer, like a movie or dinner. It has been fun getting out of the house together- HIGH.

#9: I changed my hair color. Big whoop? Yes, big whoop. I needed a change, emotionally and physically, so it was the perfect remedy- HIGH.

I think that's pretty much it. Honestly, it wasn't the worst month I've had, so I will take it. I'm very much excited about this month- we don't really have a ton of stuff planned, which is perfect. March, on the other hand, is very much a busy month for us and that's going to be fun!

Wednesday, February 07, 2018

Who I'm Meant To Be...And A Shout Out

I waited a bit before blogging again because, man, I got deep.

You know how you can get a deep tissues massage and how you are super tender, then sore, THEN you feel normal again? That's pretty much how the Switchfoot song series was for me.

I learned things about myself; I was braver than I thought I could be; I was weaker than I thought I SHOULD be; I took things to a whole new level and made decisions about who I wanted to be.


For those of you who don't actually know me, I run a side business out of my home called Canvas By Cassandra (I promise, this is going somewhere). I LOVE handwriting and it kind of grew into this hobby of painting text onto canvases. A little of a year later, I have a growing business, have become a vendor for many events through the year and have become a little more confident in my talent.

SO...I really really really really really really really REALLY loved The Greatest Showman. We immediately bought the soundtrack and pre-ordered the movie. Me & the girls listen to the soundtrack daily (for two weeks now). I was so moved by the theme and the music speaks to who I am (yes, I may be doing another song series down the road on this one).

Without digging in TOO much to this song, "This Is Me" spoke to me through canvas. 

I am brave.
I am bruised.
I am who I'm meant to be.
This is me.

I didn't see myself as brave, sharing myself with you. I just thought, "I'm loud and obnoxious, so what's the difference?" But I WAS brave. There are people who are afraid to speak out about what they are going through. I never realized that. 

I know I am bruised. The last 6 months have been hard, hard work for both B & I. It has been hard work for him, personally and for myself. There are bad days, bad moments and those are trying times. But bruises heal. And so will I.

I am who I'm meant to be. God meant for me to grow, to be better and this is who I am aiming for. 

This is me. This is Cassandra, raw and real. My facade has been shattered and you can see the broken person underneath. Brokenness can be healed. It IS being healed.

For you, if you feel this way, know there is hope. You are okay to be you, the real you. Who cares what everyone else thinks? I have a husband who loves me, girls who adore me, friends who encourage me and family to keep me sane. That's all I need, plus Jesus.

YOU are brave.
YOU are bruised.
YOU are who you are meant to be.

So go get them! 

And hey, want some inspirational canvases to go along with it? I'm shamelessly putting my links right here and here for you!