Ending A Decade, Part One

Birthdays are milestones.

You're born, you celebrate your first year around the sun. Now, you're 5 and ready to start school. 10 and you're forever in the double digits. 12, you're a preteen; 13, a teenager; 18 an adult; 21 you can legally drink....and then what?

The decades start rolling. 

It literally feels like forever ago and not so long ago that I turned 30. I remember it was exciting, a big "surprise" party. You were hitting the big one!

Then 31 came along and I thought, this is it. I feel old.

HA! Old????? OLD??? Oh man, Cassandra....crazy, crazy, crazy.

Now, I sit on the precipice of 40. In one week, I will turn 40 and I'm thinking back on my decades of adulthood that I've experienced so far.

My 20's were spent traveling, getting married and having babies. When I turned 30, I knew the next decade of my life would be raising said babies. 

I didn't know.
I didn't know that I would lose friends and family to death.
I didn't know how hard raising those babies would be.
I didn't know that my marriage was going to fall apart.
I didn't know that I would hit rock bottom and then some.
I didn't know the world would turn upside down.

My 30's were all about me. There were a LOT of good years and superb memories. But there were some scary times, when I didn't know what was coming.

I didn't know.

I didn't know I was weak, but I found out I was strong. I found out that when I put my mind to it, I can change things I thought were unchangeable. I found out that I CAN be a leader without making it all about me.

I found out who I really am. I didn't like what I saw, but then I learned to love myself, flaws and all. 

My name is Cassandra. I'm 39...and I'm stronger than ever.