Rockst*rzz

So, if you're anyone who is someone and have been on FB lately, you've probably seen a few of these floating around:





Let me digress for just one moment.....I have always wanted to have band pictures taken, but have never been in a band (save my dad's) that has needed pictures for anything. Not only was I beyond excited when I heard that I needed to have some taken to promote a youth concert, I was grinning like a Cheshire cat when the pics came in. We looked....cool. Now, because I'm vain and superawesome, I already knew that we would look cool. But man....we seriously looked cool.

Okay, back to what I was REALLY going to write about.

I distinctly remember my last day of "school" my senior year. AP English, sitting around in a circle, stating what we thought we were going to do after high school. Because I was trying SOOOOO hard to be different, outstanding and "cool", I, of course, said, "I'm going to have an awesome life." I'm sure being a rock star was somewhere in there too, but mainly that my life was going to be awesome. As I said this, I was thinking of being a famous musician because really, that's all I've ever been good at.

I so badly wanted to be famous...just to be famous.

And that was an unattainable goal for me. I just wasn't good enough.

However things have changed. I no longer desire to be famous or to be a rock star. Do I dream about it? Of course. I still hope that one day, I can sing in front of tons of people. But I desire to be a good worship leader now. It's not about how do I sound or how do I look, but am I glorifying God? I want to be a part of something bigger and I don't know what that is. Will I always be the worship leader at church or will I be leading worship in a bigger venue? Is it about what I want or about what God wants for my life? Sure, if I had the opportunity to sign to a label or to be part of a worship roadshow, I would say YES. But that's not where I am at right now. I am content with my life. Yes, I ended up having an awesome life and I know it's only going to continue to get better and better. I don't NEED to be famous to be happy or to have an awesome life.

So when I saw the pictures of our "band", I thought, "Will I......" I don't know if I ever will, but I can still be a rock star right here and right now.

I know I don't normally preach it on here, but I thought, what the heck, this IS a huge part of my life. And I don't really know if what I just wrote made sense or if it was a bunch of rambling. The gist of it is, I am happy. I am content. I do not NEED or WANT to be famous. Yes, I still dream of it, but the dream doesn't consume my life. I know that this is where I need to be right now and if God has bigger plans for me, then I say bring it on!