#fearless

Fearless.

What does it mean to be fearless?

Dictionary.com says fearless means "without fear; bold or brave; intrepid". The synonym that comes up is "brave".

Fearless. Brave. Fearless. Brave.

We talked about how we fear that God doesn't see us; that we blend in. We are no one.
We talked about how we fear that God doesn't hear us; that He ignores us. He does not recognize us.
We talked about how we fear to follow Him.
We fear the unknown.
We fear the known.
We fear our own doubts. We fear the truth.
We fear accountability. We fear what others think.

We fear we fear we fear we fear we FEAR

I took some time and thought about what I really fear; what scares me the most. We were supposed to come up with three situations. I kept thinking about things that stress me out or make me anxious, but those things come and go. One day, I can be stressed out. The next day, that same thing that stressed me out just doesn't stress me out anymore.

I really had to think. And think. And think. What REALLY scares me?

I came up with three situations after a lot of thought and I was surprised with what I came up with. I'm not quite ready to share those yet and maybe I won't ever be ready to share them with anyone but Bryce.

But I realized that fear had its hooks in me and I don't want to be scared of these things. I want to be FEARLESS.

We sang a song called "You Make Me Brave" Friday night and I had the pleasure of leading it Sunday morning. The whole song is powerful, but I wanted to share the bridge with you.

You make me brave
You make me brave
You call me out beyond the shore into the waves

You make me brave
You make me brave
No FEAR can hinder now the promises You made

So, I know that through God all things are possible and that only He can give me courage to face my fears, but when we sang those words at the very end of the retreat, I truly knew what it REALLY meant. No frickin' fear can hinder the promises He has made me. No FEAR!

Does that mean that *poof* they're gone, like Genie in Aladdin? Heck no. They're still alive and well, dwelling in my brain. It's like my fears, the three I have, are in boxes. I don't take the boxes out and rifle through them because they scare me. What is in those boxes scare me. So no, I don't want to think about them. I hide them. Things that stress me out, I take the box out and rifle through it, freak out, maybe dump it out and roll around in it, then put it back in the box.

I hide my fears so I don't have to look at them or think about them. I don't want to have boxes that I hide. I shouldn't have to hide anything.

It will take time, but I plan on working on those fears and handing them over to God. We like control and we don't like seeing it fly out the window. But I neeeeeeed to. My fears weigh me down and I don't want to be controlled by them anymore.

I am going to become FEARLESS.

P.S. Listen to "You Make Me Brave". Do it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Hi-VMxT6fc