Just to clarify for the crazy people, NO, I do not want 20 babies. No beebies in ma bellay!
When I got around to reading the news Friday morning (just as it was going viral on FB), I was sick to my stomach. The first reports rolling out was that a shooter opened fire on a bunch of five year-old kiddies and that only three were confirmed dead. I thought how horrible it was and kept going. I think I told Bryce about it too.
Not even an hour later, I was sobbing at the kitchen counter. The count was growing higher and the details were beginning to emerge. Some nasty, horrible, bad BAD man/stupid kid burst into an elementary school and shot those poor sweet children. Soon, twenty sweet, innocent and vivacious babies were confirmed and I couldn't stop the tears. Those little babies were so close to Piper's age. It had never hit home more than seeing the pictures of these little kids crying while being escorted by police.
My sweet Piper. What would it be like to wake up with her in the morning, kiss her good-bye and never hear her hum over her morning Cheerios again? Never to hear maniacal laughter while torturing her sisters? Never having that warm little wiggleworm squirm into my bed to snuggle with me in the morning? How empty and how quiet our house would seem. I pray to God that I may never have to experience that.
And that got me thinking about my sweet friends and the loss of their son. It doesn't matter that he was only 8 months old. He had a routine created especially for him that was followed and ever-changing as he grew older. What they must have gone through, having to veer off of that comfortable path into the unknown...
Many people ask why. Why children? What purpose does that serve? Again, it sucks and it's stupid. But who are we to question God's design? Why did twenty sweet souls enter into Jesus' arms last Friday morning? I don't know and I can't pretend to know. I pray for their parents and I pray for those who ask "Where was God?"
He was right there, with those children, holding their hands. He was right there, with those teachers, with His hand on them. He was right there, with that shooter, full of wrath. He was right there, with those parents, crying with them.
Anyways, that's just the thoughts I've been having over the last week. I still get really sad when I think about those little boys and girls...and sometimes when I think about my friends too.
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2 comments:
Beautifully written. You are a wonderful writer. My heart aches everyday, I have cried a million plus tears and they are still coming as I sit and read this. My Hailey is 7 and in 1st grade and I agree, it hits way to close to home. I look at her and I just can not imagine life without her. I pray that I will never have to know.
oh Cassandra, you can express yourself so well. You put it in such a heartfelt way. Yes, my first thought was as yours and the close recent loss of our special little guy. I also thought of all the pre schooler and kindergarden children that I had on my school bus for 8 yrs. It is heart wrenching.
I love you and wish your family all of Gods blessings.
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