It's Hard Growing Up

HA! Thought this was going to be a post about the girls, huh? Which reminds me, I should put some pictures up here eventually...

Anyways, I was thinking tonight. Normally, it's thinking about toast and/or chai, my to-do list for the next day, worship stuff...nothing terribly important. But tonight was different. I got to thinking about how hard it is to grow. Not physically, but spiritually. You know, to stretch yourself to newer limits, to become someone better.

I was thinking about how bitter I am. This might come as a shock, but I'm actually a very bitter person. I have an ugly face to go with that too, especially when I'm talking about it. And I was thinking about how I can change that.

I'm very bad at keeping new habits (like getting up early...which I kind of did today, but not really). Trying not to be bitter is going to be hard, because it is my nature.

I was talking to a good friend of mine tonight and she suggested something that left a bitter taste in my mouth. My first instinct was to decline what she was suggesting, but I knew what would be better. It would be better to stretch myself out and try something different (and I REALLY can't say what it was because it's none of anyone's business). So, against my true nature, I accepted the suggestion. I still felt bitter about it, but I knew that in my heart, I was making the right decision.

Maybe this suggestion will pan out and maybe it won't. But I have to trust and know that God is in control and that the more I stretch myself out, the more I grow up, the easier it will be to make better decisions for myself and to become a better, wiser person. You know, the road isn't always easy, but it's always worth it in the end.