Wednesday, June 23, 2010

One of the Hard Parts of Parenting


This is what I was dealing with last night.
Piper refusing to eat her dinner.


Big deal, right?


(I just took a deep breath...kind of sounded like a sigh.)


We (meaning Bryce and I) are trying our best to be good parents. Discipline is not one of the fun parts, but a necessity. With Piper coming into her own, it is getting harder and harder to discipline her; meaning, we are finding it difficult to find 'ways' of disciplining her that actually produce obedience.


One of the problems we run into from time to time is the refusal to eat. This isn't a huge problem. I know that Piper and Samantha are picky and I try to work around that. But I grew up eating what was on my plate. If I didn't, I either went hungry or I had to sit there until it was gone. However, I remember being about 7 or 8 years old, not 3.

Samantha is still young enough that we aren't worried about teaching her this at the moment. She still tries new things. Piper, on the other end, will look at it and say, "I don't like it. I'm not berry hungry." Frustrating, considering she used to champion all other kids in eating.


So, onto the hard part.


Last night, Piper decided she didn't like the meatloaf and mashed potatoes (with which I had mixed sour cream and shredded cheese, since she loves both of those). Bryce was out rock climbing, so I was on my own. I told her she had to sit at the table until she was done eating. Now, I'm not a monster. I wasn't going to make her eat her entire plate, if she wasn't hungry for it. But I was going to have her eat something because we've caught her foraging in the middle of the night before.


Anyways, she threw an all out, 2 1/2 hour tantrum, while sitting at the dinner table. I thought this is what Bryce and I were going to have to deal with. She would scream, yell, pound the table, shout at me, fall asleep, play, maybe take a bite, etc.
I was way over-emotionally attached to this. I was on the verge of tears over and over again because I felt horrible making my little 3 year-old sit at the table like a big girl until she was done. I held my resolve though, because I knew that Bryce would have done the same thing and I vowed that pregnancy emotions or not, I was going to follow through with the rule we had made.

In the past, this has worked. But last night, it didn't.

I played with Sam. I gave Sam a bath. I read her bedtime stories, flossed, brushed the teeth, put her to bed with kisses and a song. And still, Piper sat at the table crying. It was now 8:30, a good 2 1/2 hours after we began dinner, and she was still there.


I was emotionally freaking out. I felt like the most horrible person in the world. I know most moms have felt this way before. It doesn't mean I'm bad; everyone has different parenting ideas. This just didn't go the way I had planned.

So I got her down, hugged her tight, washed her in the bath really quick, flossed, brushed the teeth and put her to bed.
Once I shut the door, I said to myself, "If I were a beer drinker, I'd be drinking one right now." I never felt so emotionally exhausted before.

Bryce came home and we talked about it. He told me that he would have just sent her to her room the first time she fell asleep, which made me feel even worse. I thought we were on the same page. Turns out, we weren't. But that's not the point.


The point is, I hate disciplining. Hate. I don't like seeing my girls looking at me like I'm some sort of monster. I know it's essential to growing up. Whether it's spanking, time-outs, a good talking-to, or whatever, it needs to be done or the kids turn out crazy.

SO: I felt like crap last night and have decided that from now on, if Piper refuses to eat, she can get down. But she doesn't get anything else the rest of the night. She is not going to starve over one meal.

I just wish I had followed that last night.

I know parenting has it's ups and downs and I know that Bryce and I are good parents. I'm okay with having rough nights because I know the awesome nights are always going to outnumber the rough nights.


Well, thanks for reading the novel. Thank goodness I can vent here and not have to worry about someone biting my head off!

3 comments:

Morgan said...

You are a wonderful mom! Don't ever thing otherwise. One great thing about being a parent, is that you can learn as you go. If something didn't go the way you planned one time...just decide how do you'd change it and put that into action the next time. We all do it. You are fantastic, and your girls (and maybe a little boy) are SO stinking lucky to have you as their mommy!

Morgan

Chere' said...

Hang in there. You are a good mother and your girls are beautiful (like you). Just remember you get 18 years to mess them up. And they get the rest of their lives to figure it out. :)

Krisann said...

I read your blog and was thinking... that is totally what I would do. You truly are a great momma, taking care of two little ones and having the crazy emotions of being pregnant is HARD!!! Give yourself room to just be emotional, I do ;) Okay, so maybe I shouldn't sometimes, but at least I feel better afterwards, ha ha.