There are days when I feel like I can't even handle the two that I have...I've been so tired, getting over morning sickness, getting over a touch of the flu, but these are not valid excuses! I mean, they FEEL valid, believe me...but to others they're just flimsy excuses to stay in pajamas all day. Yes, I know a certain someone thinks this most of the time (He-Who-Is-Not-To-Be-Named).
I'm feeling more energetic but at my wit's end. I want to be a patient, loving mother to my kids. I think I look like a raging elephant at this point (and maybe sounding like one too). I feel helpless. Now that I've entered my 2nd trimester, I'm hoping that I can get my act together for my poor daughters' sake (and my husband's too, I imagine). These are a few things I would really like to start doing EVERY DAY:
Showering is a must. I've been lax on this...because...well, I don't really have a reason. Don't judge me too harshly. I'm clean, really! I just don't get up early enough to shower because if I try while the girls are awake (and together), all hell breaks loose. Literally.
Taking 10 to 15 minutes to start pre-homeschooling Piper. She's at preschool age, so it's time, right? I mean, technically, I could wait until August, but I'd be close to giving birth. I'd better start sooner than later and get into the habit.
Actually picking up after myself...sometimes I do it, but most of the time I don't. Usually, Tuesdays are a mad dash to clean the house before Bible study (which is held at our house). This shouldn't be stressful.
Cooking actual meals instead of sandwiches for lunch and dinner. Now, Bryce is WAY better at it and I think if I get the ingredients and plan out my meal list, like I used to, I can convince him to cook so it will taste good. But this will involve actually getting off the couch and looking in our cupboards. I know, yikes.
Paying attention to the girls. This will be hard because I'm not patient at all. But it's possible. I know it is.
Oh, and date nights. This isn't meant for every day, but at least once a month...We've only had two and one of them ended up a disaster because I spent the night with a stomach ache and throwing up the next morning. But this shouldn't deter me from enjoying myself with the love of my life once a month. It WILL NOT DETER ME!!!
Okay. I'm done complaining. I know things will get better. I know I'm not a wicked mother (except that I AM pregnant and that causes wickedness more often than not). I know Piper and Sam love me and I love them more than they'll ever know. Bryce loves me too, even though I drive him crazy. I'm sure every mother goes through this...and if you're one of those mothers who never have...GET OFF OF MY BLOG! Okay, that sounded mean. Just don't leave a comment.
6 comments:
Hang in there! It sounds like you are doing an awesome job. I really commend you for not only having two little ones and being pregnant again, but also being home with them. As a working mom I feel lucky when I have those mornings when B is losing it and the baby is screaming, that I have an escape route.
You'll figure it out. When you do, it will be summer and I will come to you for the trick to balancing.
And when you feel the the biggest, loudest elephant tromping around your home, just know that every single mom has been there, no matter how sweet their demeanor or cheery their blog. You just have the guts to be honest about it.
I love your humor even when things are going crazy for you! You are a great mom. Anyone who has seen you with your girls knows that! I have days when I feel like everything is spiraling out of control and all I can do is cry, and I only have one kid. But then there are those awesome moments, the quiet in the storm, where I can see things clearly and have the energy and motivation to tackle the challenges, and I feel so blessed. You are too! :)
I think that you put most of my thoughts and feelings in ink. My kids drive me crazy on a regular basis, and all I want is for them to stop screaming. But being pregnant always makes me so much more irritable and I end up doing my fair share of yelling too. And forget cooking or cleaning or grocery shopping in that first trimester. I think that pregnancy is an endurance test. It certainly stretches everything to it's limits.
Hey at least you're not a frontier Mama, huh? ;)
I know, lady! Kids are ROUGH! And so are hubbies and making dinner and doing chores....
BUT....
You're doing really good. I know it's hard, but it WILL get better, and you'll be better for it, too.
And God truly has a soft spot for mothers. He will honor you for your devotion and your willingness to do this very difficult job.
Love bunches!
sheesh that was a lot of complaining... i don't know what your problem is? my kids are perfect. they never do crazy things like pour out vats of gasoline, or poop in the back yard or try and ride each other like horse... really cassandra you need to get it together. ; )
*i love the pic you posted with this.
I hear ya, sis. There aren't words in the English language to describe how tough motherhood can be... Maybe someday there will a certain pill created by women that men will be forced to take by their prego wives that make them feel the hell that comes along with being crazy hormonally pregnant in the first AND third trimester ;) Love you!
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