#6: Redemption

#1: I've got my space heater on high today.
#2: I'm about ready for another cup of coffee.
#3: It's the middle of the week and I'm wondering how January passed by already.

Yep, just an FYI there for ya.

So, have you ever noticed that new can sometimes be scary?

You know, a new neighborhood that you're not used to yet, a new friend that you really want to keep around, a new hair color that isn't what you're used to (um, no problem there for me...I say bring it on), etc, etc.

Change is always new and, more often than not, change is always scary. We fear change. I like change, usually, since I'm always changing out my hair color, getting to know new people. But being outside of my comfort zone or not knowing the future (hahahahahaha), those are scary to me. And when change occurs and places me outside of my comfort zone to where I can't predict what's going to happen, I freak out.

Freak out is the tamest of phrases I could think of, because imagine me, wide eyed, bags under my eyes, picking at my cuticles, biting my nails, pacing, alternately crying and getting angry, talking to myself, forgoing any kind of comfort, wildly typing out e-mails/texts and then deleting them. It is EXHAUSTING.

Yes......exhausting.

"My fears have worn me out."

Being afraid is exhausting. We allow ourselves to get into this frenzied state where all we can think about is "Oh crap...what do I do now? I don't like this." And around, around, around, around, around and around it goes. 10 minutes feels like hours. Hours feels like days. And days...you get the picture.

I would LOVE to say that through all the stuff that I've been through these past few months have made me rely on Christ even more so when I'm afraid. Yes, that is a true statement, but not perfectly true. I still freak out. And THEN I pray. I still pace and bite my nails. And THEN I pray. Christ is bigger than our doubts, but we're afraid to give into complete control. Ah, control (more on that ANOTHER time).

It's just another thing I'm trying to create a habit out of. It's human nature to instantly turn inwards when we have a crisis. I want to turn outward to Christ and give him my worries so that I can rest in Him and the knowledge that He is ultimately in control. He loves me for who I am and offers me redemption each and every day!

Check out this Switchfoot song!


Four A.M., two hours to go
I'm wearing out a lonely glow
I miss you more than I can know
Here I am, here I am, won't you keep me?

I've got my hands at redemption's side
Whose scars are bigger than these doubts of mine
I'll fit all of these monstrosities inside
It'll come alive, come alive

With my fist down at your feet
I was running out of mysteries
Insecure and incomplete
Here I am, here I am
Won't you get me?

I've got my hands at redemption's side
Whose scars are bigger than these doubts of mine
I'll fit all of these monstrosities inside and I'll come alive
Come alive, alive, come alive

My fears have worn me out
My fears have worn me out
And my fears have worn me out
My fears have worn me, worn me out

I've got my hands at redemption's side
Whose scars are bigger than these doubts of mine
I'll fit all of these monstrosities inside
I'll come alive

At redemption's side
Bigger than these doubts of mine
I'll fit all of these monstrosities inside
I'll come alive, come alive